I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
