I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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