Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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