i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize