gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
