Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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