yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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