You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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