Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
