Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
