I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
