my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize