update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
