omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
