Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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