i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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