I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
