I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
