Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
