He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
