Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
