I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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