so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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