Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
