Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
