did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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