everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well you can't waste a boner
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
