Sry I called you an 8
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
