Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
