You're so nebulous sometimes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
