Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
