I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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