I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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