nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
