I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
