Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
