1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
