I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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