There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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