yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
