Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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