the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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