So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
