I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
