His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
