i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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