every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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