did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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