Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
