1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
