if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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