Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
