we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
