Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
