apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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