booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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