Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
