Nicole vs. Life
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
