I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize