If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
