if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
