just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
