He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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