You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
