i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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