Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
