hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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